Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 78

Amagiri’s arm hangs limp at his side. 

It’ll heal, but not immediately.

A whistle blows, the aftereffects of my scream for help.

And then he is gone, before Tails can follow.

He turns his attention to me.

Oh, just you wait ‘til this grows back.

H-hey now, that’s not like you, that’s–

…yes, a very good takedown of your old friend, precisely.

I ask Tails if he’s happy with Itou and his group.

You say that, but the eleven sentences of frantic babbling I skipped over immediately preceding this tells a different story, Tails.

Men of the Shinsengumi appear around the corner, responding to the commotion. Tails looks up at them, then back at me.

Thanks, Tails. I’ll tell Sano and Shin you asked after them.

I’m sure you meant to.

Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 77

I’M GETTING KIDNAPPED YOU TETHERBALL POLE WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE

Sadly, he split from the girl from Ipanema. It wasn’t a funny valentine at all.

oh come on, I have made CONSIDERABLY worse jokes

Amagiri just stone-cold Bisons Tails. Damn.

AND THEN IT GETS COLDER

woah

I may be dead but Tails is dying out here

And then, as Tails tries in vain to land a shot on Amagiri, it hits me. 

He’s trying to keep me safe, as best he can, and I’m an inadvertent Demon shield. 

The Yukimura Story

Apparently Tails does not do an internal monologue of shame and anxiety at all times, which makes me question if he’s really even alive.

do you

do you have a plan to go with that tiny yell

clearly not

Fortunately…

“Trust me!”

Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 76

Absolutely not, Cutting Blockhead.

You come at me and let me tell you, Toxic Banana Man, I will unleash the entirety of the energy of Sans on you. We may have a problem but YOU are going to have a bad time. They’re setting the music up right now. The Pope is pulling up a chair. You come at me and your intestines are going to be a tourist attraction. “Ten Thousand Steps of Amagiri,” they’ll say, right after they hand out the barf bags. 

You’ll be borderline unrecognizable! They’ll make entire action RPG franchises inspired solely by the symphony of violence I weave upon your soul! They’ll put my face on that guy’s body again only this time it’ll be a compliment!

PUT ME DOWN SO I CAN MURDER YOU, SOUL PATCH ADAMS

I hate everyone, including myself.

Well since apparently they patched out “Kratos This Fool Into The Next Console Generation,” I’ll go with the option that isn’t Stockholming myself into Broodmare Quarterly.

Why I waited until fucking Main Street Kyoto is beyond me. Maybe the acoustics are better. Maybe the opening act was playing out an early encore. Regardless, it is finally time to unleash hell, or at least a mid-alto quaver.

tremendous work

Well, at least Nagakura will burst up out of the ground like if Kool-Aid Man was a Mega Man villain, or Hijikata will descend from holy ground to smite the unbelievers, or Okita will crawl upside down out of a blood fountain or whatever he does during the day, and–

…shit.