Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 63

I never remember when we started, Sometime in the 1700s, I think.

WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED MINUTE

DON’T JUST STAND THERE MAN

HELP ME FIND WHAT IS CAUSING TIME TO GO IN REVERSE

IT MIGHT BE UNDER THESE LEAVES

THE SNOW IS FALLING UP

WE’RE ALL GONNA GET UNBORN

gotta keep him calm, don’t freak him out, talk about something simple, figure out what happened

oh shit oh shit oh shit I HAVEN’T MADE THEM FOR YOU YET KONDOU YOU ARE REMEMBERING THE FUTURE

Are we sure he wasn’t already the new shogun the day after yesterday hadn’t come?????

OH NO IT’S IEYASU TOKUGAWA

NOW THAT TIME FLOWS IN REVERSE THE DEAD WALK AMONG US

AND APPARENTLY HAVE GOVERNMENT JOBS

Maybe it was a magic spell, we’ve got vampires and weird alchemy maybe it’s a magic spell, I’ve heard magic spells before, fuck, what was it

Flower gleam and glow

Let your power shine

Snow is falling from the sky

In the middle of July

If you’re lost you can look and you will find me

If I could turn back time

None of it’s workiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

See y’all in the Jomon period for Chapter 4, I guess

Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 62

Since arriving in Kyoto some two, four, eight hundred years ago, out of necessity I’d been living as a man. Not a very good man, mind you, but a man nonetheless. And even under the best of circumstances, there is a limit to the benefit of being one of the guys, right? I don’t think we want to be constantly reduced only to our gender, especially in a dismissive or judgmental sense, but we don’t want our gender to be ignored or disregarded. And I’d been living as a woman up until that point! Not a very good woman, mind you, but a woman nonetheless. I had friends! I wore things that ladies wore, like kimonos and hair ornaments and exhausted expressions. ! I talked about things that ladies talked about, like systemic inequality and the date of the coming revolution! I did nice things for myself! But since arriving in Kyoto, I’d only interacted with two women at all — Nagumo, who looked eerily like me and not in a fun way, and Sen, who saw through my disguise but did not shame me for it, and who said that we ladies had to stick together, and that we should be friends. 

I hadn’t had a girlfriend in so, so long. 

And some of the Shinsengumi, they’re very nice — Sano and Tails especially — but it’s not the same thing, you know? They’re not going to understand everything the same way. 

It was hard not to get depressed about it, honestly. Hard not to look at myself every day and wonder if this was just what my life was now, pretending to be something I’m not surrounded by people who didn’t know who I was before I had to pretend to be who I had to be now. Hard not to look at myself every day and think about what I could do if I could just be me again.

WHY IS MY REFLECTION SOMEONE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

YES

I mean

Um

Yes, I was listening

you weren’t, though, right

uh

Funky, like, with a slap bass, or

Before I can figure out if we’ve gone off Broadway to something a little more interesting, though, he continues. 

In the early days of the Shinsengumi, the Shinsengumi were a bunch of guys who supported the shogunate. Like, really supported, with stabbings and arson and other fine Friday night activities. But lately, it felt like Kondou was rushing things. Itou was an Imperialist for goodness’ sake, but here he was cockin’ the walk or however that phrase goes, sorry, my mind wanders when Nagakura’s talking and even more when he’s not, and he’s rambling, but let’s not talk about what I’M doing over here, and Kondou should just show more respect, yeah?

I mean, if Kondou relaxed, we could both go hunt for girls, me for fashion tips, you for, uh, I’ll just lie and also say fashion tips

THE BUTTERFLY HAS LANDED ON THE MOON KISS THE GIRL

uh, shit, say something profound, he’s looking at you you might be thinking out loud again

what

what the fuck was that

there were capital letters and periods but those weren’t fucking sentences

he’s gonna ask “what do you mean by that” and all of your teeth are going to fall out

what

well, he doesn’t have a brain, you clearly won’t be needing yours anymore, I’m outta here

but first I’m gonna rearrange all the words in that sentence to short out your nervous system

Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 61

Don’t worry, Chief, I’ll be sure the recipe dies with me.

Fortunately, no one cares. What else is happening?

Oh right, someone’s throwing a sign in the water repeatedly. That’s weird. Petty! But weird.

THAT FEELS LIKE AN ESCALATION

Seizing the brass ring (to club someone to death with).

After Hijikata goes through more and more examples of the Fury Corps playin’ the ol’ roadkill xylophone, Kondou just says…

Starting to think that you might be a little distracted, Chief.

It’s always best to exit any conversation Matt Yglesias might try to join.

I had something else I need to think about instead.

Best In The World: Let’s Play Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds, Episode 60

god, give me strength

I have been so destabilized by the chance to get busy with Richter Scale Romeo that I keep forgetting that there are other people around here that I’ve never seen before, like this guy, who has an entire flock of birds nesting on top of his head. 

I tell him that the tea might be better lukewarm, due to the heat wave.

As you can see, he’s basically me. 

Kazue Souma signed on with Murderer’s Row right before the summer began. My brain tells me he’s “very serious and respectful,” but my heart just wrote NERRRRRRRRRRD down and then tried to dunk him in a toilet. He ran into the Shinsengumi around the time that I did, apparently in one of those offscreen adventures, and Kondou offered him a position during the chief’s time in Choshu lands with the envoy.

the fuck are you

My memory hands my brain an urgent bulletin and then returns to replaying the moment Nagakura touched my hand on repeat. This is Risaburo Nomura, and while he doesn’t have a passionate love of belts like his namesake, he does make up for it in other ways by being King Nerd of Dork Mountain. Don’t believe me? Well, here’s how he takes me telling him that there are degrees between “room temperature” and “the surface of the sun.”

Kid, I’m gonna invent lockers just so I can shove you in one.

why are you like this

Even POLITE ME doesn’t know about these two!

Unfortunately, since Souma is Kondou’s page, and Nomura is Kondou’s page-in-training, that means they need to learn what being a page is, and that means they have to come talk to me since I’m (apparently) Hijikata’s page, though I think I’m more a page he tore out of a book and then put back on the shelf.

bullying is wrong bullying is wrong bullying is wrong

Well bully for me, Nagakura has showed up to rescue me from the Chess Club.

I adore everything about their change in expressions.